| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|12:30 am] |
so.
i got my wisdom teeth taken out.
i didnt know it would be this bloody. ADAM LIED!
my car died and i cant afford to fix it.
i never got to see wicked... and i tried so freaking hard.
my boss sucks.
...but kirsten drew me a picture. it has all the sprouties on there. she will leave it in my locker.
i can eat pudding and greek yougart all i want.
so maybe it isnt all so bad after all. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|01:21 am] |
|
yeah. so my aunt died. back in illinois until next friday. |
|
|
| 2 words you never want to hear... |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|11:10 pm] |
...liver cancer.
those who have known me since know that i don't blog as much as i used to. hell, i used to be a live journal whore... but then i got this funny thing called a life and i am never online anymore.
anyways, i seem to have a lot of "down time" in the past 24 hours (actually it's a "break" i'm not busting my balls or running around or passed out from busting my balls and running around), i'm actually in chicago for the first time in 5 years. i'm visiting family because my aunt diane has cancer. it's not normal cancer tho, it's that shit literally takes over and just kills everything in it's way.
what does this mean?
well, this means that we are all just sitting here, waiting for her to die. there is nothing anyone can do for her. no last minute treatment. no miracle drug. chemotherapy wouldn't do too much because they didn't catch it in time. the doctors say it's been brewing for about 3 years now, and she was ignoring the signs and the sickness. it was as if she knew she was sick and just didn't want to face it.
finally diagnosed in june, they gave her 3 months or so.
my mother and i flew in yesterday. when we saw diane, it was like seeing someone else. i mean this shit doesn't happen in my immediate family. there is only a few of us... like seriously i have one one cousin. no one has died since i was 3 when my grandpa passed. so i obviously have no clue how to take this all in. i donno what to say, how to act. i've never had someone this close to me be sick like this, i've never just had to stand there and wait for them to die. hell, no one dies in my family. they may get cancer like 3 times, but they beat it every time. we're all assholes. we want to be around to piss people off and it wouldn't be any fun to die.
so today, i was woken up by the nice man who came here in the ambulance. they had to take her back in today, something was wrong and no one could figure what it was. it took 2 hours of tests to find that it was kidney failure.
"the beginning of the end" is what the nurse said.
liver cancer
kidney failure
lets just hope the end is soon |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|11:57 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home. | ] |
| [ | Feel This Way: |
| |  meh | ] |
| [ | Listen To This: |
| | Seh Wants Revenge | ] |
I have been internet shy for almost 6 months now. So... in honor of me logging back on, I decided to make a picture post to tell everyone what I have been doing lately.
( HOP ON THAT SHIT AND RIDE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!!! ) |
|
|
| Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|12:40 pm] |
Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)
Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
And hold a lover close
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|12:00 am] |
| [ | Listen To This: |
| | Time To Dance | ] |
Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor
Just for the attention.
Cause that's just ridiculously on.
Well, she sure is going to get it
Here's the setting
Fashion magazines line the walls now
The walls line the bullet holes
Have some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]
Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
She didn't choose this role
But she'll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry
(Give me a break)
But they believe it from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood
At her feet
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams
(Give me a break)
Have some composure
Where is your posture?
Oh, no, no
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
[x2]
Come on this is screaming "Photo op." op...
Come on
Come on
This is screaming
This is screaming
This is screaming "Photo op."
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams |
|
|
| Blah Blah |
[Mar. 30th, 2006|11:26 pm] |
OMFG!!! So.......... Streetlight Manifesto FINALLY did a cover of Catch 22's Keasbey Nights. If you do not know how amazing this is then you suck a lot. It's good. yeah, most people will be like "Um, same exact songs... same lead singer... just a different band... WTF is the difference?" Well kiddos, a lot. It's good. And I like it a lot. WEEEEEEEEEEE!
...BUT!
Sadly...
My iPod died.
My car died.
And I need to shoot for my photo assignment.
And I'm stooopid.
Le yawn.
Went to FOB last night. (I know, I'm shocked too). Fun times. I still need me some P!ATD. Again.
List of people I need to see more often:
Shannon
Becca
Chris
David
Dani
Lamar
Cathi
"Theres A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Havent Thought Of It Yet" |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|02:07 am] |
| [ | Feel This Way: |
| |  GET OUT OF MY HEAD | ] |
| [ | Listen To This: |
| | Morningwood. | ] |
It rained here on Saturday.
For those of you not in the valley, you do not understand how amazing this actually was.
We waited 143 days.
For those of you who don't understand how long that actually is... go to hell.
With the rain came lots of thoughts, as usual. Since it rains so little here, it's convenient that rain time is my "thinkin' time". Gives the old noggin time to rest cause we all know how much I hate to think.
...Actually, if you know me, you know that is a complete lie. If you know me, you know that all I do is think and dwell and over-analyze things. But, my point being, is that I thought a lot this weekend. A lot more than I usually do. And it was about some heavy things I normally don't think about.
Things like "What happens to people that never find love?" "What if I'm one of those people?" "What the hell am I doing with my life?" I would stare at the people in my check out line at work and wonder what their life at home is like. "Is the woman with 6 kids going home and doing shots of whiskey to get through the day?" "Does she love one of her kids any less than the others?" I would watch the guy who looks like he never had a date in his life and wonder if he goes home and eats alone, or if he was one of the lucky people out there and actually found someone to love him for who he really is.
I would also think about what I would be doing a year from now. Where will I be working? Where will I be living? Who will my friends be? Will I STILL be boyfriend-less?
What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, I NEVER thought about these things before. Never anything so serious.
Is it my age?
I'm almost 22 and I honestly never had what I would call a meaningful relationship with someone. Yeah, there has been boys. Believe me, I'm no spinster. Well, there were more boys back when, not so much now... you know, things change. Shit happens. Anyways... Then my mind goes back to the "What if I'm one of those people" thoughts. Seriously. What if I die and never have had the chance to fall in love? If I die tomorrow, then it would be true and kind of sad. But what if I die 20 years from now and that statement is still true? Would it be more than kind of sad?
Jeez. What a weekend of thinking. The bad thing about all of this is that I now can't get my mind to stop and it has put me in this funk.
It's not like I'm gonna sit down and pour this all out on someone. Typing (technically, hiding behind the computer screen) is a lot different from saying the words.
Gah.
I have no clue, and I'm very sorry if you actually took the time and read all of that. I hope you weren't hoping for some big conclusion here cause you aren't getting one. The closest thing I have to one is 3 words. "I don't know".
Those 3 words will have to be the answer for all of those questions for now. If you think about that, it really sucks. |
|
|
| BLAH |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
| [ | Feel This Way: |
| |  i donno.... | ] |
| [ | Listen To This: |
| | Ben Kweller | ] |
Please stop calling me. I have moved on. Really. I have. Never thought I would. I just don't wanna be with you anymore. You should know this by now, but you don't because you are a stupid boy.
In other news, I cut my hair. Not that much. Can't really notice it. At least I don't think so. It started as a trim and before I knew it goodbye 7 inches. Oh well. It's just hair.
In other other news, I have a crush and I don't want it.
Stupid boys.
I have tomorrow off. And there was much dancing in the streets.
I think I'm gonna go now. |
|
|
| 2006 Can Kiss My Ass |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|12:05 am] |
| [ | Feel This Way: |
| | not caring so much | ] |
| [ | Listen To This: |
| | DANCE DANCE! | ] |
Why hello 2006, how are you??
I sure hope everyone's NYE was dandy.
And here I am with some New Year's resolutions and a quick music rant, just what we all need, right?
Nikki's New Years Resolutions.
1. Date a nice boy. I mean really, a nice boy. I'm sick of assholes and losers.
2. Go to more shows. FUCK YEAH!
3. SAVE MY MONEY. I think I need like a plan or something. Savings account might be a start.
4. Start to going to more social gatherings where it's very boring and pretencious there, like all of the cool kids parties. Everyone has weird names like "Chadwick" or "Dexter" and they all walk around with a beer that they don't drink and talk about bands that no one has heard of. The more names you drop and the more obscure bands you know, the cooler you are. They also grade coolness buy counting the number of unnatural colors your have in your hair and how tight your pants are.
...and that's it. We all know I'm not that creative. So don't hate.
On to the music...
Good news bitches, I'm already working on one of my resoultions. NUMBER 2!!!!! That's right. ROAD TRIP!!! Thursday, January 19th 2006 I will be in Tucson.
Why you ask? Too kind.... too kind.... Well, since you asked I will be attending a musical concert that evening at the Rialto Theater. Who is playing? Again, thanks for asking... it will be none other than A7X and CKY!!!
I think I might piss myself right here.
My "Shit To Check Out This Month" list:
-Morningwood.
-American Werewolves new album "1968"
-Maximo Park (I know I'm a bit slow on the uptake on this one and I apologise)
-Jenny Lewis's solo album "Rabbit Fur Coat"
-The Strokes new album (I did hear that it sucked from a reliable source, but I must find out for myself)
-Tristeza "A Colores" |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
fruglefrat's journal